ポラロイド写真
  • Vent.

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  • 2014.03.17(月)
  • idk.
  • stars.

    category:Vent.

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sometimes i wish i was a star

so when i die, i at least shine really bright

instead of living a dull and stupid life
  • idk.

    category:Vent.

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i really don't know anymore.
  • this tastes like a fucking candle

    category:Vent.

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This tea tastes like a fucking candle it has vanilla in it which I love so I thought it would taste good? No one sip and it has cinnamon in it and my world fucking crashes fuck tea. Fuck the world. I'm just gonna game until I feel somewhat humane and just ignore every text, call, snapchat, im, I get today, I'm just not in the mood argh. No, I'm not really that upset over fucking tea, I just need to put something in and arghhh.
  • A Cold Day.

    category:Vent.

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I don't know what you want me to do. I'm honestly confused. You said you didn't love me anymore, so why are you so upset at me trying to move on. If you still love me tell me; you still could've changed something. I'm still alone and unsure about everything. Kev still has to talk to me til I sleep or else I start crying. I feel so guilty that he has to do it because he then knows I'm still so insecure. I love him so much, but I'm still so scared. I know he hates that I'm still scared and he can't do anything to make me not scared. It's why I still say 'I'm sorry.' to him every night.

I'm trying so hard right now, to be a strong person, but every time you talk you make me want to sit down and take a smoke. You don't tell me anything and I hate that passive aggressive side of you. I hate that all of you do is underestimate my feelings and think that it's not okay to be honest with me. You were my first love and there's always a part of me that still loves you the same way I did before. But every time you make a stupid goddamn post about me I get so fucking mad because you don't want to tell it to me to my face. I guess this post is a really bad example of me doing that, but it's just one post and I really plan on having a talk with you tonight about it so argh.

I'm not even mad or hateful anymore that I know that I'll still love you the way I did before. I'm happy that you'll always be a special person to me. Right now though, I want to try and give all my love to someone who I know will be at least be honest with me when I want them too. Even if I find out I really do want to get back together with you, I wouldn't even take it. I know, at the moment, we're not right for each other. We're both really fragile and confused. We still have the same problem which is being honest with each other. I hate it. I think it's a bad habit we both have, which is why I think us being together even as friends is just toxic. All we do is hide our real feelings and I hate that. If I want to say I love you, then I want to say it. If I want to say what you're doing is pissing me off or making me jealous, I want to say it. I don't care if it doesn't make a dent in anything, I just want the ability to say it to your face.

Which is why I thought saying 'goodbye' would be a good idea. I don't know now. I want to be sure in my feelings. I don't want you or me to regret anything. I want us both to be happy, but I'm so unsure. I don't know if I want that anymore. Maybe instead of saying goodbye, we could say 'seeya'. Maybe when we both have grown a bit more. Ah mou, who knows now. You'll always be the princess in my fairy tale of a life. The prince though, doesn't always end up with the princess, they might end up with the great knight who's always been there for them or the gardener or who knows. What they do know, is that they have to defend the princess, so that's why if anyone breaks your heart or feelings, I'll be there to give em a good slash. And if it's me doing it, then I'm sorry and I'll just carry on.

It's a really chilly day today. But who knows, it might end up being colder or a bit warmer.
-Jenn
  • ( ; ; )

    category:Vent.

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i'm just yelling at jaysee every problem I have right now and I just can't have time to breathe

Me, Myself, and You.

NEKO★JENN

Author:NEKO★JENN
i sometimes catch myself remembering.

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