ポラロイド写真

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SO. I've been meaning to write a big explanation on why I've been gone for like a month and since I can't remember my tumblr welp. Back in I think late January, I went into a realllly deep depression. I felt lonely, people I wanted to talk to clearly didn't want to talk to me, and my mom didn't make me feel good. Eventually, I decided I had enough and attempted suicide. I don't want to go too much into detail about that, but let's just say people were right when they call me 'hard-headed' haha.

Afterwards, I stayed at the hospital for about a week or so and just had my head examined and stitched up. I went through some memory loss due to the trauma just of the past months, but that was just temporary and I got a lot of my memory back a few days after. I got to go home and they thought it would be better for me to not live with my mom for a while, in case it brought back anything, so I stayed at my friend Kev's house where I mostly lived with his mom until he came back for a while from Nebraska haha. (I feel sorry for Sid who has to takes notes for him all the time) I had lots of fun staying and eating all his mom's cooking nomnom. Kev even decided to watch the whole first series of Inazuma Eleven with me and ahhh it was so great to watch Inazuma again and to try and get Kev to know all the characters. (He just called everyone Endou _ (with their number) all except Fubuki who he...knew LOL) I came back home after another week and just decided to not talk to my mom for a bit, even though she's the one who drives me to the hospital for some check ups still fff.

Kev still visited me, and before he told me it was better if I stayed offline for a bit. Which, I totally understood since tumblr and skype just brought back some bad memories. Not even three hours in on my offline break, I wanted to talk to people again cries. He let me use Line on my laptop to talk to some friends on there which was mostly just Jiisan and Rob but ahh <3 They're my closest friends so I was fine with that. I gave him access to my skype and some other sites and let him delete anyone on my friendslist or whatever that he felt like could hurt me. I don't really care haha. I started focusing more about my school friends and hey even got a crush on one of them. But yea, crushes never work out for me. Still, I got closer with them and felt better about going to school instead of crying and stressing. I still stress but I haven't cried in a while. WELL, except when I remember that Kev plans on going to study aboard and I won't see him for a while. We have the same timezone but eventually we won't and it'll be so different to talk to him and ughh ;__; I do tear up whenever I remember.

Now that I'm back, I get to talk to Mari and Chen again! Mostly Mari LOL. But ahh I'm so happy. OH AND I FORGOT TO MENTION but Charli sent me her package and ahhh it's just so amazing. She sent all these kitkats and a rice cracker AND DADADAAAAAAA A REI CHARM. I just love it <3. CEPT HE KILLED MY SHINJI KEYCHAIN but I found his body it's all good. And recently, I've been really into pokemon, and with my chimchar, I got a Virizion plush! It's so cute! ahhh I want the whole Sacred Sword set but my wallet is starting to run dry ;v;. So for now, time to rough it up. (stares at pkmncollectors in tears)

I guess that's all for now. I need to update some Utaite Talk since ahhh Sakatan and Honeyworks and just everyone. IS. AMAZING.

- Jenn/Neko
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Me, Myself, and You.

NEKO★JENN

Author:NEKO★JENN
i sometimes catch myself remembering.

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